Polydeuces

Polydeuces is the sad, pathetic, whiny, loser bitch-ass intern of top manager Eric! Though he aspires to be as cool and amazing and also-maybe-sexy as his superior, he isn't quite there yet. His goal to make himself SHINE takes him to some strange paths...but that's fine. Fish are tough. (Vaguely.)

He has appeared on the blog before, including some...less-than-favorable retconned content of the past. Even weirdguys can have a deeply unfortunate meta history. Again, it's fine, though! He wouldn't have to go through any of that again, but worse! That would just be silly.

Normal
Before his acension, Polydeuces is an anthropomorphic goldfish with blue, navy, and pink scales, a long tail, and fins for ears. He has long cotton-candy colored hair and blue eyes. His "intern outfit" consists of a dark blue jacket and matching hat, with a pink heart pin on one side. He also wears pink high heeled boots...and has a constant face of fear and sadness, mostly frowning, showing his many pointy fish teeth.

Flayedface
After his ascension, Polydeuces gains a long pink angler that hangs over his head. His eyes are replaced with glassy, blue-and-white cabochons (that somehow function) and his mouth grows long pink scars across the cheeks...uh, like the Joker. His hands, which are sharp claws, are bound together at the wrists and bleed when separated. Underneath his clothes, he has a long scar going from the top of his chest to the end of his stomach.

Eric
When with Eric, Polydeuces' outfit is almost identical to that of his pre-ascension clothes - he keeps his jacket, though he leaves it opened, and his heels. Underneath is a blue button-down shirt that exposes his chest scarring. He keeps his hair up in a ponytail and stands much taller.

Suspicious
When with Suspicious, Polydeuces looks much more formal. He leaves his hair down and pinned in the back with feathers, and wears earrings. He has a white button-down shirt, a long navy blue coat, and a pink cravat...he doesn't wear heels, though. Suspicious isn't a fan of those. He tries to hunch down and make himself look smaller.

Personality
Polydeuces is described by peers as "a joy to have around," "a tough nut to crack" and "like a sad, wet cat in a way." He is extremely paranoid and exceptional in his ability to make up fictional disaster scenarios and worry himself to legitimate physical illness. He's never not on edge, keeping himself in a state of perpetual nervousness. Don't think this makes him any different from his peers, though - the work of an intern is never easy, after all! Even so, Poly jumps at the slightest of sounds, shivers and shakes like a small dog, and cracks under basically any amount of pressure put upon him. He would rather shut up and do what others tell him than bother with things such as "thinking"...but the world doesn't very often give him the peace.

But don't let this convince you that he has social anxiety of any kind! Quite the opposite; Polydeuces loves social interaction. His people skills are genuinely impressive in light of his many issues, and he can pacify others and resolve conflict with relative ease (even if it scares the shit out of him). Because of this, he attracts far more people to him than one would expect...though Poly wants to consider himself a lone wolf, people are drawn to him like a magnet. He is far too self-deprecating to believe it's any charisma or humor he may have, however - people probably just pity him!

Eric
huh!? hiiim?! you're askiiing about my boss!? as long as thiiis iiisn't some sort of "iiinterventiiion" iii'm welcome to...well, uh...iii'm...we shouldn't diiiscuss this.

...he's the only one who gets me, y'know? iii really feel liiike we have somethiiing goiiing on. he actually CARES. giiives a shiiit. what a rariiity, huh? especiiially for someone as...as undesiiirable as me. that's okay, though! iii'd rather have ONE guy that knows how iii feel than no one at all. those other iiinterns just don't get iiit, okay!? he loves me. and iii'd do anythiiing for hiiim. he deserves that, anyway. stop askiiing me about thiiis. everyone iiis so conviiinced he doesn't really want me - nobody wants me to be happy, huh! because iii'm so diiisgustiiing- (he continues ranting)

Suspicious
yes, ma'am. no, ma'am. iii'm just doiiing what you told me, ma'am. liiisten, iii don't know where we're goiiing, and iii don't know WHY we're goiiing there, but iii promiiise to stiiick it out. iii mean, after all, what else am iii gonna do?! you're the only one that wants me around, at thiiis poiiint...iii'm a monster. iii don't even know why eriii- i didN'T MEAN TO SAY HIIIS NAME!! sorry, sorry, sorry, iii'm so sorry...puniiish me however you want.

Susie
...iiit's a lot.

Trivia

 * Polydeuces is partially based on Gasper from The Twisted Whiskers Show.
 * He's also based on a Homestuck character. Which one? ;) You know.