Leonardo Akuma

Leonardo Akuma is a gore liemavera taking the form of a bleeding heart dove. He is a temporary antagonist of the first few arcs of PAJ and is the former heartbird of manager Eric Gun AJHQ, eventually following the man on their rampage. Let him tell 'ya - ERIC isn't the only one killing men and having fun out there! Leo's got his shit in the bag, too, alright!?

He may not be on the blog anymore BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID HUNK OF METAL THAT DECIDED HE WASN'T EVEN WORTH THE BLOOD SPILLED FOR HIM FUCK YOU ERIC but he's definitely gonna come back. Trust us on this one.

Avian
In his avian form (fancy wordage for AS A BIRD), Leonardo takes the appearance of a Luzon bleeding-heart dove. He has a BADASS dragon tail, spikes along his spine, long, thin legs and best of all...RAZOR SHARP TEETH. He does, of course, love biting. His look wouldn't be complete without his signature emo hair and red-green bandana, which says...well, basically whatever you want it to, ranging from teeth to FUCK YOU in big capital letters.

Hidden under the light green bandage on the left side of his face is a large burn scar, covering the entirety of that side of his face. His left eye-socket is completely empty, think Brightheart from Warrior Cats. His left wing is also slightly crooked.

Mannequin
In his mannequin/normal/anthro/whatever form, Leonardo has dark blue fur and hair. His wings are AWESOME DEMON WINGS instead of boring old feathery ones, and stretch out at a large wingspan (left still crooked, of course). He has light blue ram horns and ears...though his left ear has been shredded and burned.

He has..."COOL" fashion including a large jacket, turtleneck sweater, ripped jeans (which he cuffs in the way a church boy would) and...HIS BELOVED BANDANA!!!!!! After all, THAT'S what gives him all his handsome and also scary looks. Everyone is deeply, deeply intimidated by the bandana.

Personality
Leonardo is, in the simplest terms one can use, a self-centered douchebag. Wannabe-edgy and full of contempt for the world, Leonardo loves gloating about his amazingness and badassery whilst sitting on his ass and doing basically nothing at all. He talks up, usually relying on clever lies and made-up stories to convince others of how much of a GOD he is, but even those sound ridiculous and stupid to any reasonably minded listener. He tries to be manipulative, tough, cool, and scary...but he just sorta comes off as an annoying pest.

Outside of this, Leonardo is highly delusional, genuinely believing himself to be a god among men and declaring that one day, some day, he will have his revenge on every man who has ever wronged him. His super-awesome-supervillain status (in his own mind) grants him the ability to do whatever the fuck he wants without consequence, something that bites him in the ass basically every time he tries it. Nevertheless, the GREAT Leonardo Akuma is unstoppable, and certainly unbeatable.

Even so, Leonardo does have a great amount of respect for those he views as his superiors. Jacke, Eric, Suspicious, and Susie are all examples of this - people he sees as ABOVE HIM or EQUAL, therefore PERFECTLY FINE!!! (And probably won't try to backstab him whilst he's off on another journey of self-induced hallucination.) That doesn't mean he's any less rude, though...not even a big loser like JACKE can stop him from being as spiteful and violent as he's always been. (He has a lot of love in his heart, regardless.)

Pre-PAJ, Nowhere
In the outskirts of Donlon, one of the largest cityscapes of the continent Somewhere, stood a small sanctuary where Leodore had resided since his hatching. It was safe to say he was a fast learner, and, with little help from his instructors, Leo had quickly become adept in his healing magic.

Despite all this, he still longed for more, and Leo often found himself wandering into the crowded streets of Donlon. He was drawn to their sports, such as Cricket (EXTREME MODE), Killing & Violence Ball, and, his favorite, Oblivion Brawling. He absolutely fuckin' adored watching these bloodbaths, and sometimes even snuck into stadiums where the events were hosted. Even though he had been granted the excitement of seeing them in person, he couldn't help but feel jealous. Using one's energy for fighting (and straight up murder) wasn't as common for liemaveras of his type. Seeing this fight for control, power upon power...was something truly inspiring. Leo had clung to a hope that one day he would be as strong, if not stronger than the liemaveras he watched.

Leo had begged his instructors about the possibility of a certain extracurricular activity outside of his studies about World Domination, but his vagueness proved to be detrimental to his plans, as his instructors completely misinterpreted his words and selected an incredibly opposing pastime to what he wished: Bible study. Not the fucking human Bible. Like, the liemavera one. Liemaveras think the human Bible is, frankly, stupid. But in Leodore's eyes, the liemavera Bible is 10x worse. Not that he'd actually say that out loud, of course. Even so, Leo hated Bible study so fucking much. Every single second of it was god damn atrocious. The worst part is that he didn't have any peers to complain to, as there is no liemavera in their right fuckin’ mind who actually gives a shit about this religious hogwash aside from elderly motherfuckers who want to conserve their cringe little past.

Leo had done decently well in his training and, regrettably, became a liemavera Bible whiz-kid. He had even participated in a few minor missions, and his healing abilities had shown to pass with flying colors. Yet, unsatisfaction still lurched in the back of his mind. This need for power had all started to crack down on Leo, eventually driving him to make one of the worst, among many, god-awful fucking decisions in his life. There had been a game of Oblivion Brawling to be hosted the following week...if Leo was careful enough, he could finally experience the feeling of being in the spotlight.

Unfortunately for Leodore, he was not careful. Although he was certainly able to find his way inside and slip past any sort of security, he would greatly misinterpret the reaction to his presence. Leo had acquired attention, but not the type of attention he desired. Liemaveras don't react too fondly to some random motherfucker interfering with their bloodsports, especially the opponents themselves. Much to his own misfortune, Leo is incredibly fucking stubborn, and he will show everyone that he can do cool epic magic as well. As he tries to weaponize his own energy, he quickly realized that he did not prepare for this event and immediately fails. Before Leo is able to comprehend how much he fucked up big time, his opponent comes over and just... starts kicking his ass. In a life or death situation, he finally weaponizes his energy out of instinct and is able to get his opponent off of him, but at a price; he overexerts himself in the process. Leo almost immediately passes out, assuming that this is finally the end.

And then he woke up at home whatever the liemavera equivalent of a hospital is. His vision had noticeably worsened and his entire body ached. The doctor informed him of his injuries, including that the left half of his face took the brunt of the overexertion and is completely scarred, and he may have some difficulty flying due to severe damage to his left wing. According to the doctor, some highly respected older folks who had been *watchging this* specifically requested he was saved. Bible studies and befriending elders actually saved Leo from his untimely demise. To make matters worse, the stunt he pulled had gained traction, and Leodore had become a fucking meme. As soon as he left the hospital, he changed his cringe name to the fail one we know now, Leonardo Akuma, in hopes of both being more "menacing" and nobody recognizing him...among other reasons. Trans rights, diversity lose. Although, it was inevitable that the occasional liemavera would see him for who he was, or make fun of him for his past acts of tomfoolery.

For the majority of his years after the incident, Leonardo continued to assist in minor missions. As is implied by the word "minor," they were rather tame for a liemavera of his age. His sense of hope had been lost, and he remained apathetic...until one day when a higher-up approached Leo, offering him a chance to assist in the invasion of the United Kingdom. Leo registers this as a chance to finally prove himself and accepts the offer. Soon enough, alongside the rest of his crew, Leonardo arrives on Earth in a small civil parish by the name of Cuckmere Valley.

Leo is almost immediately assigned the role of finding the crew a place to stay, which he takes with pride. Searching across the vibrant shrubland, he eventually stumbles upon an opening where an old barn stands. Despite there being signs of someone (or something) living there, when Leonardo searched, it was empty as can be. No farm animals, no farm, nothing. If something was there, they'd have to be inside, leaving Leo no choice but to investigate further and enter the building. This, consequently, ended up being a horrible move. He ended up square in fuckin' Locus. Forgot this was about PAJ? Yeah, I did too. Sorry about that!

Pre-PAJ, AJHQ
When Leonardo arrives in Locus he's understandably pissed. Thought THIS was going to be his chance, huh? Nope! Fucked up realm time, bitch! For a whole week, he just goes around AJHQ complaining to employees and desperately trying to get in contact with The Boss. After everyone finally gets tired of his bullshit and he's finally allowed to talk to her, it just goes as you expect. She tells him he isn't allowed to leave...and then Leonardo proceeds to run off into the vents and cry about it for several hours.

During Leo's moping session he realizes that there's a whole colony of birds inside the vents, and after registering his shock, decides to interact with them. Although the majority of these birds were just... birds, Leo couldn't help but notice that a few of these birds stood out like a sore fucking thumb. Upon introducing himself to them, they confirmed that his suspicions were

correct: they were also liemaveras who got trapped in Locus while trying to complete their missions. Ever since, they stuck together in the vents and worked together to get enough energy to survive, although that was a huge fuckin' challenge. They even gave their crew an Epic Name™, The Knuckle Gang.

Meanwhile, Leonardo decides exactly how to take advantage of this, like how he does with literally everything. Being the liemavera who is the least energy-starved out of everyone there, he offers to be their new and much more epic cool leader. He promises that he'll get them so much energy and perhaps even dominance over the entire fuckin' company if they listen to him and do everything he says. The Knuckle Gang, absolutely desperate at this point, agree to Leonardo's wishes. They also inform him that if he does fuck up they will get his ass without hesitation. Leo accepts this, but asks them to change their name, and they oblige...so, the Blood Desirers are born, although the name Leo chose is debatably worse.

As soon as Leonardo becomes the gang leader, he just goes wild over his control. When they weren't scavenging around AJHQ in worthless attempts to find scraps of energy, Leo decided a way for his gang to "bond" was to finally put his incredibly specific knowledge into use. He started just giving them his half-assed Bible readings but, like, from memory. It's not like he has the liemavera Bible on him at all fucking times. He’s not that bad.

Eventually he starts adding his own shit onto them… and that's when Leo gets a genius idea. He realizes, hey, what if I fuckin’ make all these Bible stories lead back to ME? The new fucking protagonist of the liemavera Bible, motherfucker! He goes for it, and gradually and obviously integrates his new bullshit tactics into his storytelling, eventually just flat out stating his godhood. The other liemaveras don't actually believe these, but with the knowledge that this bastard is their only chance at getting food, they tolerate it. Leo fucking loses it because he's utterly convinced his bullshit plan worked.

PAJ
NOTE: Most of this information is covered in the PAJ summary page. This is that information, told from Leonardo's point-of-view. Leonardo spent a lot of his time just *watchging* the shit that went on in AJHQ, although he chose not to interact directly with any of it because he found it stupid as hell and didn't care. However, he did check the blog relatively regularly, and, after the Hells, he saw that Merriam was in need of a new bird (for reasons unclear at that point in time). Leo realizes that he's a bird. He takes his chance, informs his gang of his departure, and bursts into Merriam's office through the vent. Leonardo attempts to put on a completely innocent act, and after enough convincing, Merriam allows him to be the temporary heartbird of Eric, as long as he promises not to fuck with his already really fucked robotics or pull any bullshit. Leonardo agrees, y'know, like a liar. In gaining the supposed trust of an important employee, as well as a new host, Leonardo celebrates his absolutely epic win of the night.

To nobody's shock, Leo is the worst fucking heartbird in the world. He toned down his bastard levels in hopes of coming off as somewhat trustworthy, but it became increasingly clear that he didn't actually give a shit about helping Eric or being a proper assistant. Mr. Gun was simply just someone he could use to gain power over AJHQ, and in his eyes, the entirety of Locus. Much to Leo's chagrin, however, none of his typical manipulation tactics seemed to actually...work on Eric, and any time he suggested the concept of world dominance or tried to read a verse from the liemavera Bible or whatever the fuck, Eric would very much ignore him completely or make some sort of passive-aggressive comment on how literally nothing Leo said had any sort of relevance to their job...it was his own way of telling Leonardo to shut the fuck up.

Things finally took a fuckin' turn when Harold and National Geographic's raid takes place. As it began, Eric ignores a wet floor sign and immediately slips and malfunctions, leaving Leonardo to just. Fuck off, as he usually does. As Leo fucking hates AJHQ and everything they stand for, he gathers up his fellow Blood Desirers to make shit worse for everyone, ordering them to attack people at random, while Leo himself would try and target Nat Geo and Harold. He only had slight success, as he did encounter Nat and attack him... This ended with Leo being convinced he had killed Nat, but in truth, he barely did shit to him! After this "win," Leo goes on to celebrate further, laughing at all the utter bullshit nonsense from a distance.

While sitting around and being a little shit, he encounters Merriam, who questions what the absolute fuck he's doing out here. Leonardo proceeds to say the infamous line "Merriam, come look at how entertaining this is! It’s almost like a comedy movie, except it’s free!" (the peak of dialogue, everyone) to which Merriam's like "dude. you're kind of fucked up… what the hell" and condemns Leonardo for being a stupid asshole. Leonardo, who can never handle criticism ever, is like "whhyy wouuld you Fuuc..ckking; sa,ay thhat...... yoou';;ree so sso mmeann too mmee ,NOOBOD Y uu,nderstandds wwh ati'veg onne th.ro,gh" and as he's trying not to cry he runs off before Merriam can say anything else.

As he's running off, however, he encounters Susie, she quietly follows him in an attempt to make him stop being a motherfucker. Soon, Leo is met face to face with Harold. Leonardo instantly starts bluffing and fuckin’ throwing threats at him, meanwhile Susie tells Leo not to actually murder him. Harold and Leo spend a good few minutes arguing with each other and as Susie is forced to watch... everything turns around as Bigfoot himself fucking appears. Leonardo sees the Ape and is like "oh god oh fuck" *heads out*, taking shelter in Eric's fuckin dead broken body until everything subsides. He drags Mr. Gun's corpse to his office and waits for Merriam to return.

Several days passed, causing Leo to realize that, wuh-oh, Merriam probably isn't coming back! With this, Leo is left with one option: fix Eric himself and disregard everything Merriam told him not to do. Turns out, Leonardo is not good at fixing robots! Like, at all! After absolutely fucking up multiple sets of Eric's already sensitive code, he prepares himself to wake Eric up and face the consequences of his actions. He prays that none of this will come back to kick him in the ass later on. Leo gives up on actually fixing Eric's code properly and forces him to reboot using his epic healing powers. Upon Eric waking up, he (seemingly on his own accord) forgets Merriam’s existence...Leonardo, assuming that is standard for married couples, accepts this and decides that he needs a robot engineer’s help to run and maintain a robot no longer. Buh-bye, Merriam!

Eric, being practically run primarily on Leo's shitty dumbass powers and a single Kleenex at this point, actually begins to listen to Leonardo's ramblings and value his thoughts, much to the latter's excitement. For months on end, he rambles about how he and Eric are, deep down, one and the same, and have been oh so very wronged by the people around them. This is a sentiment Eric shares, but maybe not for the same reasons Leonardo does. Both wish violence upon those who wronged them, just...not the same people, not the same kind. Eric and Leo both develop the idea that they’re the only ones who truly understand each other, and while they don’t fully trust one another by any means (Eric would toss out Leo for his own benefit in a heartbeat and Leo the same), they stick together through this shared love of violence. Things continue on as normal, excluding Eric being utterly fucked up. Leonardo and Eric eventually go on a business trip with Bigfoot to Earth, in which Leo keeps trying to egg Eric on to commit murder, although this ultimately fails due to a lack of proper opportunities...don’t worry, though, they’ll get there soon! Once they return, however, is when shit gets real fucked up.

On the discovery of Nat Geo's status as a sexyman, Leonardo was (shockingly) not the one to suggest violently killing him. He was completely convinced that Eric was being a fuckin' clown and picking up a fight that he couldn't win, albeit Leonardo's blatant hypocrisy in that regard. As we've already established, Eric is very fucked up and ignored Leo telling him not to because he's a weak little bitch. When Eric did end up killing Nat Geo, however, Leo was like "OH MY GOD THE MADMAN ACTUALLY DID IT..... eric i definitely never doubted you and believed in you the entire time like the really great and wonderful boyfriend i am" and then Eric consequently crashed for like 2 weeks (not actually but i think it would be funny if that was the case), much to Leo's disappointment. Using his cringe liemavera powers to not only reboot him but also give him the Energy Shock™, Leonardo encouraged Eric to continue his fucked up killing spree, to which he happily obliged...and off to Layer 13 they headed, mostly by Eric’s choice.

And so the two committed mass fucking murder together. With Leo's boosting powers and vague guidance combined with Eric doing, like, all the actual murdering, the two were practically un-fucking-stoppable. It seemed that shit was finally going Leonardo's goddamned way! Leo could finally sit back and relax. Then BOOM. Eric abruptly remembers his husband exists and is, to a theatrical degree, melodramatically concerned of his whereabouts. Leonardo, irritated by Eric getting distracted, is like "dude stop being dramatic?? i thought you didn’t even like merriam. you're totally throwing off my vibe." When Eric continues to feign his own upset, Leonardo decides to take things into his own hands and delivers another lengthy and insufferable rant, one long enough to both snap Eric from his “sadness” and convince Eric to let Leonardo have a little more control in their quest to slaughter every stupid Homestuck kinnie on L13. Don’t worry, though, Eric knows exactly what’s going on! Possession is for losers.

Together, they attempt to continue Eric's task of finding and killing ??, as well as killing Robin after a short encounter with him. At some point, Eric falls down a flight of stairs. Funny robot man's head rolls off and allows himself to be slightly more conscious than before. Leonardo takes this as an opportunity to argue with (and berate) Eric more because he's an asshole. Yet, through Eric’s plight, they continue on with their murder spree.

All of this takes a sharp twist when none other than Bigfoot shows up. Briefly arguing with The Kinnie, ??, and A12, he lies to Bigfoot about how he totally hasn't had a hand in the murders happening, which Bigfoot doesn't question at all due to Mr. Gun’s trustworthy aura that he has pathetically fallen prey to (like someone else you might know!). After deflecting even more questions, Eric tells Bigfoot that the murderer/monster is right behind him! Which, consequently, causes Bigfoot to turn around. With that, Leonardo and Eric prepare their strength...and take the kill. But this proved to be the worst possible move, as no being, living or nonliving, can handle the despair of killing our Lord and Savior Bigfoot. Eric, crushed under the heavy shock of becoming the man to murder a God, reaches into his own chest cavity and tears Leo out, tossing him aside, leaving him defenseless, and subsequently powering down. He falls to the floor, and Leo panics as he tries to figure out what to do.

A12 and ?? takes this as a chance to bully Leonardo and punt him like a football, which hurts like fucking hell on Leonardo's end. When the two are distracted, however, Leo makes a fucking break for it, and descends deeper down the layers, feeling betrayed by Eric for having pulled that bullshit on him and that he once more had his seemingly perfect plans fail. In his utter state of despair and endless wandering of the lower layers, Leonardo finds himself upon a door, in which he decidedly breaks and enters with little remorse. With this, he meets Jacke, who lets him stay in his shitty slimy Reddit apartment for what goes from a temporary visit to a permanent stay. From then on, Leo mainly resides in Jacke's apartment, since literally so many people want to enact violence upon him (mostly because of Eric lying to say the massacre was entirely his fault). Despite his belief that Eric betrayed him, he still occasionally goes up to the higher layers so he can give Eric his shitty fanfics in an attempt to make up with him and reconcile. It doesn't work, for Eric cares about his career over the thrill of another murder spree...but Leonardo will still try.

Eric
Y'WANNA KNOW WHO ACTUALLY GETS YOU, ERIC? YOU WANNA KNOW WHO CARES MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD? ME, ASSHOLE! I wanted to help you! I wanted to make sure you WON! We killed National Geographic together, remember that? And Bigfoot - WE KILLED BIGFOOT! But no. You're the reason that's all in PAST TENSE. 'Cuz you weren't worth any salt. You're just like any other AJHQ-suck-upping deadbeat LOSER. Well, here's a taste of your own medicine! Leonardo's gonna show you not to mess with a GOD! ...Uh, call me when you've changed your mind, okay? I've always got open wings, y'know.

Jacke
He must be so proud, managing to earn the favor of a GOD like ME. Don't think it's because I've fallen for his affections, though! He's just my servant. He practically does whatever I ask him to! Yep, I've got him wrapped around my finger...in the palm of my hand... Jacke keeps me powerful. He...he saved my life, in a way, alright? He's just my loyal little minion. Nothing more...upupupu.

Trivia

 * Leonardo's appearance and aspects of his character were inspired by Anghel Higure from Hatoful Boyfriend.
 * Obviously, Leonardo is British...or the bird-parasite equivalent of such.
 * leonardo is a dictatorish piece of shit who believes that everything should just bow down to him already. it has nothing to do with his fucking nonsense number letters. hes a piece of shit hes genuinely a gigantic piece of shit who manipulated and harmed a married couple into forwarding his plan of killing everyone in the company for fun. he gloated about how great he was and how he was above everyone while people were dying, he had violent jealousy whenever he perceived someone to be regarded higher than him you do not understand the fucking significance that youre comparing this fucking god awful piece of shit character to some fucking catch all numbers and letters that dont really mean anything