Jacke

{| class="wikitable" style="color:#0a5091; background-color:#a1dce3;" cellpadding="10" ! colspan="2" | ! colspan="2" | ! colspan="2" |GENERAL
 * AKA||reddit dog, TheMaskedAmigo
 * Affil
 * Affil
 * Affil

Heading text
iation||AJHQ, The Twisted, Reddit ! colspan="2" |PERSONAL
 * Status||Alive
 * Speech||Proper grammar. Lots of "internet nerd slang."
 * Speech||Proper grammar. Lots of "internet nerd slang."
 * Speech||Proper grammar. Lots of "internet nerd slang."
 * Species||Dog- no. Flayedfa- no. Just some guy.
 * Gender||Male (he/him)
 * Height||6'5"
 * Cake Day||November 24th, 1990
 * }
 * Height||6'5"
 * Cake Day||November 24th, 1990
 * }
 * }

Jacke (no last name given, needed, or ever-to-be-used) is a microbiologist for AJHQ who specializes in infectious diseases and toxic chemicals…additionally, he is a member of The Twisted (hardly by choice) and the boyfriend of Leonardo Akuma (FaceBook status: it's complicated). Furthermore, he moderates the subreddits r/TwistedWhiskers, r/TheMaskedAmigo, and…

Jacke doesn't show up very much on the blog because he is quarantining himself like a leper BUSY studying the various strange findings of the lower layers. Right near the Hive but right near the surface, he works with Jam, Juice, and who-knows-what-else!...so he's very, very busy right now. Don't call him, alright? He won't pick up.

Appearance
Appearance This is- I don't really want to have to talk about this, Jammer. Can we do this one later? Maybe you can go get some iced tea, and I'll get back to what I usually do…oh, fuck it. You'd never give me THAT peace of mind. I might as well suck it up.

Jacke is an anthropomorphic Jack Russell terrier dog. Exposure to Jam and Juice combined has permanently modified and mutilated his body, giving him three stretchy, accordion-like arms, large blue eyes, and straight, flat teeth that stretch all across his body, mainly his face, back, and arms. His tail, which is jointed and curled at the end, can be straightened if you put it on an ironing board; do with that information as you will!

Besides these differences, Jacke is your typical dog furry. He wears black browline glasses to correct his terrible vision, a dark blue Hawaiian shirt (because he has amazing taste - it's Gucci brand!), and his classic light blue jacket…sleeve length really depends on what you find funniest. Before you ask how he gets his hands on expensive, high-brand clothes…well, let's just say the Boss pays him slightly better than her other employees. (AHEM.)

Reddit
Most of Jacke's internal structure is relatively unknown to those outside of his personal circle, as he keeps a lot of his research on his own body to himself. Testing the limits of your own disgusting, rotted physical form…maybe NOT the kind of thing an unsuspecting audience wants to read about! That being said, his own private research is…incredibly telling.

Captain's Log, stardate: August 14th, 201X. This is something I was honestly afraid to do until today, but I did it. I put myself on my own autopsy table. Thank god for my long arms, huh? Haha. Sorry. That…wasn't actually that funny. Um, it's kinda hard talking about stuff like this in audio. It felt easier doing it. At least it wasn't too painful.

Based on the chemical makeup of the inside of my lungs, I don't breathe the same things that people do - I should've suspected that. It's sick. I can't even be around people, and now I- I'm sorry. Nevermind. My lungs are this dark purple color now, like I'm a smoker, and there's these tiny piles of black and purple fuzz built up around them, like spores of mold. I can still process carbon and oxygen, but the spores make their own unique chemical as well. Have I discovered some new element? That'd be funny. Chemistry isn't my typical field. Uh, anyway, this is my own form of "cellular respiration," as it shows. I don't know what this new element is, but releasing it when I breathe makes other people sick…clutters up the house, too. I'm calling it "Reddit miasma" until I can figure out a better name. Isn't that cute?

Oh, and I've discovered that it's hard to eat plants now. If I touch things for too long, they start to rot and die. It happens to wood, too, so I have to be really careful. Thank Hive- fuck, God- for my desk, right?

ADDENDUM: August 26th, 201X- holy SHIT. Guess what I just found? LIVING BEINGS in my apartment. Like, the not-dead-or-burning-alive kind! They're these little spiders, I think! They're small, black, fuzzy…um, kinda like my lungs, I guess…and they're everywhere. They have tens of legs and so many eyes. They've started building something in the kitchen…I'll get back to you guys on this. I might call them Reddit spiders? Have I discovered a new SPECIES, too!?

Personality
Stemming from a lack of proper social exposure, Jacke is incredibly awkward, stilted, and uncomfortable in just about every possible regard. He says too much (or not enough) too frequently, and usually resorts to just never interacting with anyone at all to avoid the stress, embarrassment, and shame. This is, of course, why he spends most of his time cooped up in his apartment…but hey, he does talk to his Boss!

Mostly as a coping mechanism, Jacke's loneliness pushed him to develop a love and connection to the social media platform Reddit. He celebrates his "cake day," because he doesn't have a birthday, gets into frequent internet discourse, and has actually picked up a relatively small audience of fans due to his weird and "ARG-like" posting habits. Because of this, he has his own subreddit, named after his handle, u/TheMaskedAmigo.

Outside of that, Jacke's personality reflects that of your typical Reddit user—Redditor, he'd call it. He has a snarky and mean air to him, keeping up the personality of someone rude and standoffish as a way to prevent people from coming close. He's also very nerdy, with a laundry list of interests he obsesses over and could talk about (and defend) to no end over the internet. HE understands it all the best, after all! No one else could! So get out of my replies and go do something else with your pathetic life, or lack thereof, since being a whiny bitch on Reddit is all you're good at- I mean, sorry, what were we talking about?

Jacke is, despite the aforementioned…everything, a deeply kind and compassionate man. His quest to study diseases is based on his own hope to eradicate them, so no one has to suffer as he does. He takes care of others without a second thought, from his spiders to any unfortunate guest that comes to his apartment. He likes to look tough and cool, but the love he has for others and the hope he has in humanity shines through it. He's actually, somehow and some way, a big optimist and an even bigger softie. His kindness is sure strong, but it can sometimes grow to be…overbearing…and unhealthy…but it'll all be okay in the end, right? He would never take his need to HELP others too far. That'd be silly!

Lore
Jacke was originally born a normal, Earth dog in the town of Plainfield, Indiana. Born in a litter of three puppies in a typical suburban home, he was given the name Theodore.

Though his brothers, Alvin and Simon, were enthusiastic and ready to take on the world, Theodore had other ideas. He wanted to stay in his quiet home with his mother, fearing the outdoors with its bright colors and loud sounds. Most days, he stayed in bed and watched his brothers with unease.

Alvin and Simon taunted him and bullied him for his lack of playfulness. They told him that if he didn't get adopted by a human, he'd be cooked and eaten, and it made him afraid...but he wasn't so sure. For just a moment, his own intelligence pushed itself past his fears. He stayed behind as they got taken by humans, waiting to see what would become of him in this new, lonely world.

He was eventually taken by a human, too, not eaten like he feared. An adult man, though Jacke barely remembers his face now. He was loud. He smelled weird. He had a husky voice. That's about all that sticks in his mind.

But this human was the unique type. He liked to flaunt his human-wealth, wearing fancy clothes, big watches, bringing human women home and owning extravagant things. He always wanted to look superior to others, holding himself at the top. It was no shock that he decided to involve his dog in this hunt for fame, too.

Thus began Theodore's many years of doggy suffering. That is to say, he was forced to do incredibly dangerous and frightening tasks for the sake of his owner's YouTube channel, for he wanted to go viral and make it big. He would ride skateboards, go doggy-skydiving, and snowboard without even a bit of safety gear. When his time to perform was over, and he was no longer on the virtual stage for the day, he sat cold and alone, chained to a tree in his owner's backyard. It was HELL. And Theo, now renamed to the wildly unfitting Jack, wanted freedom.

So, one night, when his owner had forgotten to leash him to the tree, he wished his oak companion farewell and made a run for it. He ran through the busy streets of Indianapolis until he stumbled upon an empty gas station, calling to him with the scent of dog treats and the usual cheesy ding of a cash register from inside. Even though it seemed abandoned and closed, it called to him. He knew something was inside.

When he entered, well... it's hard for him to truly recall it, now. Many years had passed since he was but a regular dog in a regular gas station.

But there were toxins in the air, heavy and wafting around him until he could barely see. Suddenly, he wasn't just a dog anymore. He stood on two legs, had opposable thumbs. He could think coherently, being able to speak English with ease, no longer having to bark. He was given a level of freedom that he had never truly tasted before, and it was the kind he knew he had to savor. He would finally get his chance to restart, rebuilding himself into the person he always wished he could have been when he was just a weak and voiceless animal.

So, when a tall woman in a fancy outfit approached him, introduced herself as The Boss, and she asked him his name, he said to her—

"Jacke. Silent E at the end." (Because there's nothing better than a new name, so long as he gives tribute to his old ones.)

And so kick-started his career at the beloved AJHQ. He had a knack for virology, and his never-ending quest to study the different chemicals and toxins, including the ones that gave him his beautiful new body, drove his life for as long as he could remember. The Boss admired his dedication. She gave him raises and treated him well, more so than even his highest-standing coworkers. In the company, he finally felt as if he had a place. He owed it to her.

...But being your dream form, having intelligence and freedom and bodily autonomy, always comes at a cost.

His curiosity got the better of him. There were things inside the massive company building that remained alien to him, and he couldn't have that. He had to research. He ran deeper in the building. He discovered THE HIVE, an incomprehensible brand-new-world of colorful pulsating god-knows-what that burned the nostrils and soaked the skin with the drowsiest kind of being. He was horrified, but he had to KNOW. He stepped in, and...

It took everything away from him. Now, he'd become a monster. He has too many teeth, too many arms. It's hard to look in the mirror. Impossible to look at himself in the shower. He never left his apartment again, he moved deeper and further out so the only people who had to look at him were other creatures of unimaginable horror. He never looked his Boss, whom he had grown unnecessarily affectionate to, in the eyes. His quest for knowledge had turned him into something more grotesque than words could describe, and he knew she would never forgive him for that.

He raised pet spiders in his free time. Used Reddit. Learned to cook. Anything to take his mind off of how his passion, how the Hive, stole his dreams straight out of his paws.

Then a bird showed up at his doorstep. He said his name was Leonardo Akuma. He said his host, Eric, had abandoned him. He asked if he could stay in Jacke's apartment. He confessed to killing several people.

And Jacke was desperate for social interaction, so he said yes. Now, he's got a roommate. So maybe, just maybe, things will turn out alright. (More than alright, if he can gather the confidence.)

Leonardo
You want HONESTY? Well, fine. I suppose he isn't the worst. …What?! That response isn't honest enough for you? Who CARES. Sure, he's the only person I've spoken to in-person in the last several years. And sure, he's great, amazing even, and I want to spend every second of my life with him, and I've certainly never met a man more ATTRACTIVE than him…but it doesn't mean anything. I just-

Listen. I'm looking out for Leo. I'm the one that actually gives a shit about him, unlike everyone else. I just have to protect him, and that's what I'm doing. He shouldn't talk to anyone else. He shouldn't look at anyone else. He shouldn't be with anyone else. If I have to turn against the whole company for him, I would. Leo is the love of my life. He deserves the world. I can give it to him—him alone. That way, he'll never leave.

Eric
Don't fucking ask me about that guy! Just the mention of him is disgusting. HE'S disgusting. Ruined Leonardo's life, ruining mine. You don't get in the way of him and I. Not if you want to be in for a beating.

Selfish, dangerous, abusive, pathetic, so Bigfoot-damned PERFECT that I just…Sorry. Sidetracked again. He isn't…awful, per se. He's so very human. If I had been human, too, maybe he'd…nevermind. He's awful. Just let me get my hands on him...I wish I could touch him…I mean, NEVERMIND!!!

P*nder
I…uh…it's… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Don't look at me again. Hate when IT sees me, when IT says hello, when IT…he still has that look in his eyes, y'know? When someone still thinks of you as prey?

They banned me from that subreddit, after all! Told me it was too obvious—my "scenarios" being less than just imagination as intended—told me I should seek therapy and stop talking about YOU. Turns out, there's a price to be paid in disguising harmful ideology and rhetoric as simple sexual fantasy, haha! I don't need to party, I can stay inside. Face it. The Hive failed with me. She fucked up. Losing one game shouldn't upset you…ME…so much. Should it?

Oops
I was really young, and REALLY stupid…so obviously, I had to be blessed with a kid! All the youngest, stupidest guys get a kid. Sorry, sorry. Maybe that's not appropriate to joke about…but I don't think I fucked you up too bad, and you still visit, so I'll say I won that one game against our cruel universe. Good luck out there!...still bullies Leo. Hmph.

Marnie
Status on Marnie: FURTHER TESTING REQUIRED. However, I am of the opinion that she's…not so bad. I'm not the best at raising cats. What is with me and cats? Haha…she's a good kid. At least, I think?

The Boss
That's personal business information. (I will, of course, do anything she asks without a second thought. Nothing comes before her.)

Trivia

 * Jacke is based on Jack the Dog from The Twisted Whiskers Show.
 * Canonically, Jacke's favorite anime is Steins;Gate, though Overlord, Zombieland Saga, and Restaurant to Another World come at a close second. His favorite character of all time is, predictably, Okabe Rintaro.
 * Jacke hates fruit.